My Baby Confession

Photo Courtesy freedigitalphotos.net

Having children is such a beautiful blessing;  I couldn’t and wouldn’t want to ever imagine my life without my precious gifts.  When you are creating and living ‘the family’ life, you have an impression of how many children would make your family complete and in some cases of course the gender of each member. 

When I had my first child, I only ever imagined it would be a girl; why wouldn’t this child be a girl since my husband already had two girls and I couldn’t imagine being the mother of a boy since I was one of three girls in my family as well?  Somehow our little one arrived and I recall looking down after my husband announced it was a boy and seeing that little gender statement waving around in the air.  I can remember like it was yesterday.  When I became pregnant with child number two, I was monitoring all of my symptoms and I determined to myself that it must be different and this must be a girl.  We decided to find out the gender, mostly because my husband wanted to know and I felt we should both know if one of us would.  I actually met someone recently who was pregnant and the lady knew the gender of the child and told me and her husband did not know so it was so intriguing to me since I am a complete stranger who knows this lady is having a little girl and yet the father doesn’t know.  Oh well, their business, not mine.  Back to me, boy it was for us.  Hooray, my boys would be seventeen months apart; boy 1 would not recall life without boy 2 and they will be pals for life!  Yes, I have fit it in just right and justified my reality to perfection.

We have determined that our family is complete with our two boys.  It still fits a little funny in my head that I never had the girl but of course, that is justified.  I will not have to deal with the mood swings that are inevitable (sorry mom) and will not have to worry about whether they will be getting the HPV vaccination and other reasons too, I am sure.

Sunday, October 9 was my parent’s Thanksgiving dinner and my niece mentioned to me that her friend, who is adorable as ever, is pregnant and giving the little girl (already confirmed) up for adoption.  I announced this news to my husband who knew the young mom as I gested that we could get ‘our girl’.  We laughed it off and continued on with our day.

Almost as soon as we left my parent’s home that day, my husband says to me, “You know, if you’d like to adopt that little girl, we can.”  I even recall it felt like my ovaries were dancing as he made this statement.  Now my husband I must tell you is a constant, analytical thinker.  He may react but will always take the time later to think and follow up if required.  He had known that I would have liked a little girl but leaving it to chance another baby may just mean another boy to us so he thought this would be our opportunity since it is a little girl baby who needs a loving home and we could be that.  We almost immediately contacted my niece to tell her friend and I believe we spent the whole ride home that day naming her, discussing where she would sleep, what vehicle we would need to buy.  We are close to a two hour drive from my parents so this was a ride of seeds planted in my maternal brain that blossomed over and over again for the next couple of months.

The mom had decided to go with another family because we were a little too close and it would be too difficult for her to always know or possibly know where her daughter was.  Completely understandable; I could not argue or plea with her well thought out response to us.  All I had left to do was pray for the mom’s commitment to creating a healthy little baby, pray for mom’s emotional well being and oh, of course, pray for a miracle that somehow, someway, this little girl could become mine.  I continued to pray these things until the little girl was born and given to the adoptive family this year; I hope all goes well for that adoptive family, what a beautiful blessing for them.

I have returned my thought process and justification back to why we are best just being our little foursome (plus two) but of course if a little miracle happened to fall into our lives just like this possible opportunity, I would celebrate with glee.  My husband has stated if we ever win the lottery we can have another one so I can only imagine the odds of that occuring!

Have you ever considered adoption?  If you’re looking to expand your family and help a little one who is without one, including international adoption consider visiting Waiting To Belong for extensive information.  They provide links to Provincial and Federal requirements; it is fantastic, I believe it may provide almost al of the information you need.

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