Their Life To Live

photo courtesy

A young lady recently expressed to me how she had made decisions as a young adult that were in direct contrast to her parent’s desires for her life.  This young lady moved in with her boyfriend, although it wasn’t what they wanted for her, her parents were supportive and continued to show their unwavering love for her as their daughter.  They welcomed both her and her boyfriend into their home so they continued to visit often because they knew that love was always there.  Despite this young lady’s decisions not being the choices her parents would like her to make, they accepted it as it was.  Eventually she went to her parents to share that she had become pregnant; her mom’s reaction was to open her arms and say, “Thank you for bringing me a grandchild.”  

This young lady shared her story to a group of us parents to say, we want what is best for our children but once they become adults, their life is their journey to live, it is not a reflection the parents but part of what makes up their life story.

What a powerful message that was to me.  My husband has two adult daughters and I have an adult niece that lives in our home.  I would love to be able to provide continuous ‘advice’ or guidance based on the lessons or experiences that I’ve learned in my life.  This is the desire for most parents, we don’t want our loved ones to have to experience heartache or hard lessons, we would like to give them advice on lessons we have learned from our experiences.  Despite our desire, we all have our own life journey to live. 

My life decisions are not a reflection of who my parents are, they only make up who I have become today.  Our experiences are only about us, our lessons teach us, build our character and help us to grow.  The errors in judgement that I made when I was young were there to help me learn and grow.  They were not choices I made because my parents failed, just part of my story. 

I write this out today as a way of acknowledging that I can only live my life, do the best I can with what I know.  My greatest responsibility is to show only love for the adults in my life.  With my small children, I shall do my best to be a responsible, loving role model in hopes of giving them a positive influence as they live their life journey.


5 thoughts on “Their Life To Live

  1. We are responsible for teaching our children values.

    They are responsible for making their own choices in life.

    We are responsible for loving them no matter what choices they make.

    They are responsible for the consequences of their choices.

    Spoken by a mother of 2 twenty-somethings.

      • I made my share of mistakes. My comments are in hindsight because my children are all grown up and turned out OK (in spite of me) LOL.

        Wanting to be the best parent in the world is stressful. They will turn out OK even if you stumble along the way.

        Love and support are the only real elements that you need.

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