Marriage – The Foundation Of Our Home

The relationship between me and my spouse creates the foundation of our family for our children.  If our relationship is waivering, the emotional state of our family changes.  My responsibility is to do my part in building and maintaining that relationship for a peace and love in our hearts and home.

In my constant pursuit of teaching my children what ‘normal’ is, my deepest desire is to show them a loving home, including a strong love between their parents.  I want my relationship with their dad to be what they consciously seek out during their life journey because it was enjoyable and inspiring to them growing up.

In honour of Valentine’s Day, we were given a 30 Day Devotional called A Godly Home.  This booklet was developed by Promise Keepers Canada and has been so very inspiring to me;  so inspiring to me that I had to share with you!

Below is the Day 4 Devotional called “How Is Your Acting?”

Remember that special day? You were nervous and excited and expectant. Everyone was watching. Then the question came. 

What were you promising?

It wasn’t a promise to feel in love. That one might get broken before the honeymoon is over. You cannot promise feelings no matter how badly you want to.

It wasn’t a promise to feel in love. It was a promise to act out love. You promised to follow the loving way no matter what it was you might feel in the future.

This is grown up love.

Dr. George Crane tells of a wife who came to him full of hatred toward her husband. “Before I divorce him I want to hurt him as much as I can.” Dr. Crane suggested, “Go home. Think and act as if you really love your husband. Tell him how much he means to you. Admire all his good qualities. Be as kind, considerate, and generous as possible. Then tell him how much you hate him and that you’re getting a divorce.”

With revenge in her eyes she exclaimed, “Beautiful, beautiful! Will he ever be surprised!”

And she did it with enthusiasm. Acting “as if.”

When she didn’t return, Dr. Crane called. “Are you ready to go through with the divorce?”

“Never! I discovered I really do love him.” Her actions changed her feelings. The experiment became her experience.

Remember that you promised to act out love. How’s your acting?

Daily Reading:  1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

We gauge our relationship success by our personal values and expectations of our spouse and our relationship.  Sometimes we need to consider just loving our partner, like we promised we would and maybe it should be our primary responsibility.  If we love them, our desired ‘love’ language may just be filled like we want it in return.

 I believe I found this so moving because it is so often said, “We just fell out of love.”  Relationships do change as time goes by but we made a commitment to love, not just until…

In honour of this post, I am going to spend the next few day’s sharing my love for daddy.  Hopefully to help inspire you too.


8 thoughts on “Marriage – The Foundation Of Our Home

  1. Beautiful post. I can see how you found that 30 Day Devotional inspiring. I really like the Day 4 example you used, too. It’s so true, isn’t it? If we act lovingly, we will feel lovingly. Much like I tell my children: If you pretend you’re brave, you really will feel and be brave.

    • Thank you! I believe writing the post even helped me!
      That is neat that you tell your children to act brave because it is true – does ‘fake it til you make it’ fall into a similar category!? I have been thinking lately that I want to tell my boys that everyone wants someone to lead so if they want to be a leader, take charge and people will follow (similar to the be brave thought – I think). I’m not at the stage of giving social guidance except ‘go play’ so I can only dream about guidance I may give and I like what you do.

  2. I’ve always liked the wisdom (and the honoring and recognition of the power of motherhood) in that phrase: “The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.” Excellent post, Excellent Woman! I also thought of Proverbs Chapter 14, verse 1: “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.” We wives and mothers are powerful in our homes–God has given us great power and responsibility to build up our homes and family. One can easily imagine how we can tear down our homes or build and strengthen them. One time my friend told me, “You’re the glue that holds that family together.” It’s true. When Mom comes undone, the family ravels apart.

    I truly enjoy your blog posts and quiet wisdom.

  3. Super.

    It is so important for children of both genders to learn how to work through problems in relationships as well as to see how they are to behave as adults in their own relationships.

    I raised my children in a loving marriage as well because this was important to both my husband and myself.

    I’d like to share something that I learned early on – if you are both moving toward God, you are also moving toward each other (imagine a triangle with the point on top.)

    Thank you for a most excellent post.

    • I love, love, love to hear when people have a healthy, loving marriage. Thank you for sharing your insight. The Devotion I referenced (day 5) actually used the triangle analogy and so I appreciate you sharing that too! Thank you so much for your support.

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